The Power of Pausing: Reclaiming Joy Without Guilt
Dear Visionaries,
This week’s jewel is Passion — and I want to talk about something we don’t often let ourselves fully feel: joy.
I used to believe that joy had to be earned. That it came after the checklist was complete, after the work was validated, after the impact was proven. But lately, I’ve been learning that joy is not a finish line. It’s a birthright. And it’s a form of resistance.
After I became Dr. Harmon, I found myself in a strange place. The striving stopped, but the silence was loud. For the first time in years, there was space. And instead of immediately filling it with the next thing, I let myself pause — not to plan, but to process.
A Personal Reflection
Recently, through therapy, I discovered I was living with complex layers of depression and anxiety — and I didn’t even see it at first. I’m known for being resilient, tenacious, the one who always pushes through. But after completing my doctoral degree, I entered deeply uncertain times in my federal service career. Like many federal employees, I was navigating the chaos and fear of whether we’d even have careers in the months ahead.
At the same time, my research and personal business — rooted in race and gender equity — faced abrupt resistance as DEI initiatives across the country began to be dismantled and demonized. I lost hope in a dream I had devoted years to building.
In one pivotal therapy session, I was told I was experiencing grief — not just of people, but of dreams, roles, and routines. During my Ph.D., I lost both of my grandparents — my greatest inspirations — and my beloved dog, who had been my silent source of comfort. Then the structure of school ended, and with it, the guiding post of who I was becoming.
I had been grinding to avoid the grief.
My therapist asked me a simple question:
“When was the last time you felt truly happy?”
And the answer took me back to 2021.
I had just left a relationship I’d been in throughout my 20s. I was rediscovering myself. I created soft rituals — meditation, music, reading, stillness — that helped me feel grounded. That season of healing was when I first touched the flame of my purpose and passion. I remembered my why.
Now, I’m returning to that homecoming. And it’s lighting me up all over again.
A Leadership Insight
We often find ourselves stuck in grief regarding our careers because we become the work. Our identity gets fused with productivity, and when that work shifts or disappears, so do we. That’s why in last week’s newsletter, we focused on identifying your professional superpower — the skill, gift, or voice that’s uniquely yours.
Naming that superpower gives you agency over your career. It’s a way to reignite your passion and reclaim direction — because work is what you do, not who you are.
Want to find joy in the work again? Turn it into your brand. Root into your superpower. Start sharing, teaching, learning — even in small ways. Use this season to build skills, network with intention, and gain confidence. As Jay Shetty shared on the IMO Podcast,
“Passion becomes a series of steps, not an all-or-nothing leap.”
Burnout or High-Functioning Depression? Know the Difference.
In a powerful insight shared by Dr. Judith Joseph, MD, MBA, we’re reminded of the crucial distinction between burnout and high-functioning depression — and why we need to name what we’re experiencing to truly heal.
Burnout is often caused by external stressors, like chaotic workplace environments, lack of support, or systemic pressures. The symptoms often fade once you’re removed from that space.
High-functioning depression, however, can look like this:
→ You leave work, and still keep grinding.
→ You take on side hustles, stay chronically busy, never resting.
→ You seem “fine” on the outside, but inside, you’re depleted.
High-functioning depression is often internally driven — rooted in unprocessed pain, loss, or trauma. The overworking becomes a coping mechanism. A way to outrun the feelings.
So even when you step away from the job, the cycle continues.
That’s why recognizing the difference matters. If we mislabel high-functioning depression as simple burnout, we may try to treat it with rest alone — when what we really need is restoration, reconnection, and rituals that center joy.
Joy becomes the prescription.
And not performative joy — but the kind that nourishes, grounds, and reorients us to our why.
Why We’re So Burned Out
A 2024 study by the American Psychological Association found that 79% of U.S. workers report work-related stress. Millennials and Gen Z are experiencing the highest levels of burnout and anxiety. Meanwhile, a trend is rising: “mini-retirements.”
The New York Times recently published an article titled To Escape the Grind, Young People Turn to ‘Mini-Retirements’, where people are taking breaks to rediscover themselves. But what if that’s not financially possible?
If You Can’t Take a Sabbatical, Try This:
Create Micro-Moments of Joy — A daily joy break, even 10 minutes.
Set Joy Anchors — A playlist, a candle, a ritual that grounds you.
Reignite Your Rituals — Return to stillness and practices that center you.
Protect Your Energy — Boundaries are not rude; they’re revolutionary.
Honor Your Grief — What have you lost that you’ve never named?
Reflection Prompt
What brought you joy this week — no matter how small?
Where have you been denying yourself joy out of guilt?
You don’t need permission to feel joy.
You just need space.
Pause long enough to feel it.
Play long enough to remember you deserve it.
Your joy is not a distraction — it’s direction.
With passion and possibility,
Dr. Sheletha Harmon
References:
American Psychological Association. (2024). Stress in America: Work-Related Burnout Across Generations.
New York Times. (2024). To Escape the Grind, Young People Turn to ‘Mini-Retirements’.
Joseph, J. (2023). High-Functioning Depression vs. Burnout. Instagram/@dr.judithjoseph
Shetty, J. (2024). IMO Podcast, Episode featuring Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson.